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Editor’s note: Emily is the author of The Catholic Girl’s Survival Guide for the Single Years. Just so we’re clear right up front, I’m not saying everyone should make a hard-and-fast rule to never stay up late talking to their honey or not kiss a guy until they’ve got a ring on their finger.This Q&A is continued from last week’s discussion with Emily.) Chapter four, “Sex, Chastity & The Biological Clock,” is a big one – it covers so many key issues for single women. People know their own personal strengths and sources of temptation way better than I do.Break-ups are always tough, but they’re even harder when the person you’ve been dating tells you that they’re ending things because God told them to. Someone once ended things with me by saying, “It’s what God wants” – and I can 100% say I’m glad that didn’t work out, but I wish she wouldn’t have played the God card.I would have preferred that she just tell me how she was feeling.Since “test marriages” would be a violation of basic morals — even on the natural level — what we have instead is called courtship. I will not go into detail on many of those things one can read in a book such as Father Lovasik’s , or Father Kelley’s book on chastity I mentioned last week.Courtship allows you to see if the one you’ve almost chosen is the one you’ll choose for life at the altar. This is a mixed audience and these subjects would be better handled in another venue, preferably in the home, where these books can be read with parents as your guides. What I would like to address is the notion of courtship and how it differs from the modern concept of dating.
Yet I am also experienced with marriage tribunal ministry, where I regularly encounter broken marriages.
She Says: I’ve had so many girlfriends burned by this one…
A guy will say that he’s prayerfully discerned out the relationship because he needs more time to pursue Christ on his own – and then BAM! If you’re really feeling called like it’s time to be single, be single.
Pete Vere shares advice regarding unhealthy teenage dating behavior, as well as what type of courtship leads to healthy marriages. Paul, MN, January 24, 2002 There is a growing debate within Catholic circles surrounding the merits of courtship as opposed to dating.
As the youngest canon lawyer in North America, I am less than a decade removed from my teenage years, and I also served as a canonical adviser to various adolescent-orientated Catholic apostolates.